One of the most ‘searched for’ pages on my site is the How To Wear Cycling Shorts page. But you folks aren’t fooling me.
I know that people aren’t wondering how to wear cycling shorts…like if they should put the shorts on backward, upside down, or otherwise.
Just say it…’Do you wear underwear under your cycling shorts?’
What you’re really wanting is permission to go stark raving naked under your cycling shorts.
And I’m just the kind of cycling authority to grant such permission. Yes, you do wear cycling shorts with no undies. And no, you don’t get any demerits for being a pervert when doing so.
At the end of this post you’ll find a video by another authority, Stephen Taylor, who’s gone so far as to speak for upwards of two minutes on the subject.
While it may appear Stephen’s a bold pioneer, don’t miss the fact that he’s chosen to hide behind those dark sunglasses. The truth is that he’s fearful of hateful cycleshortaphobia (more on that later).
While he speaks of lathering himself up with a lubricant, in what he calls the ‘nether regions’, the video is sadly lacking in meaningful demonstration.
On my How To Wear Cycling Shorts page, I address the issue of aerodynamics in bike shorts, the function of the ‘man diaper’ in cycling shorts, the advantages of bib shorts…and even get so bold as to acknowledge the existence of the seedy cycleshortaphobe world.
While the phobia of wearing cycling shorts hasn’t been officially listed in the anals (sic) of mental disorders, it’s about time this problem entered into the public consciousness.
Frankly, I’m tired of hateful stares just because I’m celebrating the wearing of bike shorts.
And I’m bold enough to parade through the aisles of Walmart in my cycling shorts (complete with ‘man diaper’ inserts) without hiding behind sunglasses.
In fact I’ve been known to bend over at just the right moment to inspect some of Walmart’s Everyday Low Prices on the bottom-most shelf…flashing the ‘My Name Is Ron’ sticker that’s plastered to the backside of my Pearl Izumi bibshorts.
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