Occupy A Clean Bike Or Get The Ole Heave-Ho

Posted on November 18, 2011 by Ron Fritzke
occupy bike rider Occupy A Clean Bike Or Get The Ole Heave Ho

A thinly disguised effort to meld 'bike washing' to 'Occupy Wall Street'.

I’ve had a real hanker’in to get over to an ‘Occupy’ event; but a busy work schedule precludes it.  Seems the best I can do is ‘occupy’ my bike when I get home from the office, in an effort to stay fit.

But, I’m not just anybody’s fool (I’m the sole owner of this here fool)!

I’ve seen enough newsreels of occupiers getting the ole heave-ho due to uncleanliness (not to mention pooping on the sidewalk) to realize that I may face the same fate (the heave-ho) should my chosen ‘occupy’ location (my bike) slide into a state of slovenliness.

Thus, this short tutorial on keeping a bike clean!

Not too long ago I had a problem getting the shifters on my mountain bike to work correctly.  Obviously, the problem was far too complex for this mere chiropractor/bike rider, so I hustled the bike over to the local bike shop.

Low and behold…my bike was suffering from a severe case of ‘no-wash’em-syndrome’.

Who would have guessed that all of that mud build-up between the seat tube and front shifter could be the culprit?  Certainly not this knucklehead.

Anyway…here’s to keeping our bikes clean.  With the increased amount of mud, blood, and guts that accumulate on winter roads, our bikes could use a good cleaning now and then regularly.

I’ve embedded a video below of a pro mechanic from team BMC, courtesy of Bicycling.com, so that you can see how the big-shots get their already clean bikes cleaner (could they be the one percenters?).  There are some very good points in the video, as well as in the linked-to article.

Be forewarned, watching the mechanic wash down the team bike is a bit like watching a juggler perform his craft with no balls.  Since the bike is already squeaky clean, it comes off as a superfluous activity.

Of course, should the bike mechanic not wash an already clean bike, he’d soon be struggling to de-grease a chain that actually has grease on it.  He’d be in the same boat us mere mortals occupy…

Here’s to enjoying the video!

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The Hands Tell The Story

Posted on October 10, 2011 by Ron Fritzke

Ever wonder how hard your riding partner is going?  Are they cruising up the hill, are they putting out an ‘honest effort’, or are they praying for the summit to appear as quickly as possible?

Lance Armstrong Tour de Gruene 2008 11 01 The Hands Tell The Story

Image via Wikipedia

Well, according to Lance Armstrong’s coach, Chris Carmichael, the story may be written in the hands.

Before you get all indignant on me, and try to maintain that you’re only interested in how your riding partner’s doing so that you can:

  • murmur words of encouragement,
  • offer advice about engaging different muscle groups by changing position on the saddle,
  • or other helpful acts of kindness,

let me remind you…

One cyclist going down the street is a bike ride, two cyclists riding down the street is a bike race.

So now that we’re on the same page, let the gamesmanship begin.  And lest you think that gamesmanship isn’t powerful, don’t forget Lance Armstrong’s fake fatigue in stage 10 of the 2001 Tour de France.  He lulled his opponents to sleep on earlier climbs by feigning poor form… before beating them by two minutes on the celebrated L’Alpe d’Huez.

I’ll bet he rocked back and forth on his bike, uttered soft un-Texan-like whimpering sounds, let himself get gapped a bit, and most importantly…gripped his handlebars tightly.

So ole Ulrich looked over at those white knuckles with a Ho, Ho, Ho.  Just before Lance launched an attack that was critical to winning his third Tour de France.

Use Hand Tightness To Your Advantage

Up until now this discussion has been about looking how tightly your adversary riding partner is gripping the bars, in order to time your savage attack.

But you can use the ‘hand-grip’ technique to ride offensively as well.

The judicious use of the double-cross, the double double-cross, or the head-spinning single hand cross-up may be just what you need to throw your opponent off your desire to dominate.

That is, of course, if your partner is privy to the message that hands can telegraph.  If they’re merely trying to remain upright while riding, none of this hand-reading stuff works.

Save it for a ride with someone to whom you really want to deliver a sound beat-down.

  • Double Cross- it’s relatively easy to grip your bars tightly when you’re still fresh in order to signal fake-fatigue.  It’s harder to loosen your grip when you’re suffering mightily.  But the reward is great…so ‘just do it’.
  • Double Double Cross- once you’ve successfully pulled off the double cross, the double double is an option.  Just go with what comes naturally (tight when tired, loose when fresh) and your condition on the climb may be misinterpreted by your smug opponent.
  • Single Hand Cross-Up- much like rubbing your stomach with one hand while tapping your head with the other, this technique requires ‘autonomic neurogenic dexterity’ (made that one up).  The complication occurs when betwixt two riding partners.  One hand is held tightly for the benefit of the rider closest to the right side, and the other hand maintains a loose grip for the misdirection of the rider on the left side.  But it becomes complicated.  Are you delivering a double cross to the idiot guy on the right, or a double, double cross?  Same goes for the rider on the left.  Mix it up too much and you’ll unseat yourself…or lose bowel control.  Use this technique only in dire circumstances.

And Then There’s The Face

Denis Menchov The Hands Tell The Story

The 'Silent Assassin's' Face Is A Blank Page

You think that’s effective?  How about the face?

Two pros come to mind.  Denis Menchov is known as the ‘Silent Assassin’  because no matter what the circumstances, his face is placid.

On the other hand, Jens Voit has made a career of face grimacing.  In practically any situation, Jens is able to produce a convincing look of pain and determination.

His entire persona revolves around being a tough guy who tries really, really hard.  But it occurred to me that pain is a relative thing.  Some feel it much more intensely than others.

jens voit e1317155670178 The Hands Tell The Story

A Case Of 'Reverse Face Determinosis'?

If you were to dish out 600 units of pain to one guy, he may feel it quite intensely, while in another guy it may hardly be noticed.  So what’s to say that Jens is actually feeling more pain than the Silent Assassin?

Maybe Jens is getting a tiny tinkle of pain…but he feels it most intensely.

Could each of them be playing a sophisticated game of Reverse-Face Determinosis?

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Lance Armstrong On Perfect TT Positioning

Posted on October 3, 2011 by Ron Fritzke
300px Lance Armstrong TdF2004 Lance Armstrong On Perfect TT Positioning

Sure, there are a lot of subtle things to do to get into a top-notch time trial position on a bike.  But what should you focus on if you don’t have unlimited money and time?

You know…how do you get the most bang for your buck?

In the video below, Lance talks about three positioning fundamentals to be aware of .  I’ll summarize a few points for you.

1).  Get your head out of the way.  It goes without saying that your body can be as ‘small’ as possible, but if your coconut is sticking up, catching the wind, you’ve got problems.

calaveras tt 7 300x296 Lance Armstrong On Perfect TT Positioning

Hey, That Helmet Tail Is Acting Like A Sail! And That Hump In The Back...It's Positively Lance-like.

Should I get into time trialing again, I’m going to do some ‘blind’ riding.  There’s really no need to have my head up like an ostrich, searching the road for loose change, discarded bear cans with high redemption value, or even the finish line.

I think I’ll just glance up now and then to make sure I’m not headed for a double-parked delivery van.  Then I’ll get my pumpkin down out of the wind.  And here’s a positive side effect…my neck won’t be screaming for relief.

One problem with this whole ‘glance up’ routine when wearing a ‘long tail’ aero helmet is that the tail of the helmet will be up in the stratosphere when I drop my head.  I suppose the new short-tailed aero helmets don’t pose the same degree of difficulty.

I just read a blog post that labeled my ‘only glance up now and then’ to be extremely dangerous.  Probably true, so don’t try it.

You know the old saying, ‘Don’t do as I say, don’t do as I do!’

2).  Narrow your shoulders.  Narrowing the shoulders is accomplished by reducing the space between the elbow pads on the aerobars.

calaveras tt wide e1317147312113 Lance Armstrong On Perfect TT Positioning

A Good Angle For Appreciating My Wide Shoulders

I have very manly, wide shoulders.  I’m proud of them, and believe they make me more important than men who are cursed with narrow shoulders.

Blessed with such shoulder width, I’ve felt the discomfort of having the elbow pads too closely spaced in my effort to get as aero as possible.  The discomfort was so significant that at times I didn’t think highly of my physique,  instead reducing myself to sniveling and whimpering.

I widened the space between my elbow pads and was able to inhale again, after which I once again appreciated myself.

3).  Flatten your back.  Lance will tell you (with stylish graphics) about drawing a line between the center of the hip and the center of the shoulders (of course, mine are quite wide).  The more horizontal the line is, the more aero the position.

But, if your ability to produce watts is compromised by too flat of positioning, you’ll have to compromise and ‘sit up’ a bit.

Levi time trialing 300x180 Lance Armstrong On Perfect TT Positioning

Look How Horizontal The Line Between 'Point Of Shoulder (Narrow)' And 'Point Of Hip' Is On Levi.

Lance references his teammate Levi several times in this video.  He’s careful to not speak poorly of Levi’s body type, but you can read between the lines and rightfully infer that Levi probably doesn’t have very wide shoulders.

Actually, it looks like Levi is cursed with a long torso and itty-bitty short legs.  He can keep his Tour of California victories and Tour de France performances.

As for me, I’ll take my wide shoulders any day.

If you’d like some insight into why the bent over position of time trialing hurts your low back, read all about it at Askfitnesscoach.com .

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Pedal Stroke Myth Busting

Posted on September 27, 2011 by Ron Fritzke
crooks cycle right Pedal Stroke Myth Busting

John Crook Talks Pedaling Stroke

I just watched an interesting youtube video wherein the esteemed purveyor of Crookscycleright.com, John Crook, presents a case for busting a few pedal stroke myths. Citing studies done quite some time ago on the 7-11 team, he notes that ‘ankling’ and ‘pulling up on the upstroke’ may not be all they’re Crooked up to be.

Ankling is a form of pedaling in which the rider gets some ‘action’ out of the calves. While this may seem like a great idea, John Crook points out two pitfalls.

1). When you watch the video below, take note of the portion in which John demonstrates that ankling directs force during the downstroke toward the bottom bracket rather than directing it around the arch of the pedal stroke. Considering that you’ll be unable to get any benefit from pushing your crank arm toward the bottom bracket…don’t do it.

2).  Additionally, as with the other ‘myth’ that John seeks to break…using the smaller muscles used when doing ankling technique is a poor ‘bang for your buck’. It’s not efficient.

I kind of suspected that ankling may have its detractors. When I first started racing, I brought up the subject with my coach and he wasn’t too jazzed up about it.  I thought he’d reveal that it was a part of the secret arsenal of fast riding.

Hmm, I thought.

Maybe ankles should be limited to being a place to wear my sponsor’s socks.

Watch the video and see what you think.

300px Bicycle pedal animation Pedal Stroke Myth Busting

What About ‘Pulling Up’?

John also shoots at the benefit of pulling up on the upstroke. Yes, there is more power generated when pulling up on the upstroke…but the metabolic cost is quite high.

Bottom-line? When you want to sprint like Cavendish, push down, pull up, and elbow your neighbor. In short, do anything you can to generate watts.

But if you’re looking to use as little oxygen to get down the road as possible, think twice before pulling up on the pedals.

I’m still convinced that it’s helpful to do the ‘scrape dog poop off the bottom of your shoe’ routine, as well as trying to ‘pedal over the top’.  But for the most part, don’t go overboard trying to maintain the same pressure on the pedals throughout the circle…it just isn’t going to happen.

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If The Cycling Shoe Don’t Fit, You’ll Want To (Ac)Quit

Posted on July 30, 2011 by Ron Fritzke
OJ Simpson glove If The Cycling Shoe Dont Fit, Youll Want To (Ac)Quit

"All of those acting lessons have paid off now!"

For OJ Simpson it was a glove, for cyclists it’s their shoes.

You remember…Johnnie Cochran chanting ‘If it don’t fit, you must acquit’.  Well, poor ole OJ struggled and struggled to get those shrunken gloves onto his hands.  It was a ‘no go’ and the jurors realized that if OJ couldn’t get his bloated hands (three cheers for swollen hands due to no arthritis medication  for a few days) into shrunken gloves (they’d been completely soaked in blood), he must have been framed…and should be allowed to go free to pursue the real criminals who’d committed the bloody crimes.

We cyclists have a parallel problem…if our cycling shoes don’t fit, we’ll want to quit.

colored poodle If The Cycling Shoe Dont Fit, Youll Want To (Ac)Quit

"I'm thankful I'm not wearing tight cycling shoes."

In an effort to get my bike shoes to fit snugly onto my feet, at times I’ve just about strangled them into submission by tightening the closure to near suffocation status.  And I can tell you, when that happens you’ll want to whimper like a spray-painted poodle.

But as the video at the end of this post points out, the snugness shouldn’t be in the closure, Instead, it should be in the way the shoe fits ‘organically’.

Nah, ‘organically’ has nothing to do with pesticide-free carrots, beets, or other tubers.  It actually has nothing to do with just about anything from the vegetable kingdom.

When I speak of ‘organic’ cycling shoe fitting, I speak of the kind of fit that comes from…well, I’m not sure of what I speak.  This is going no where; the only saving grace being that no one ever reads this blog anyway.

Let’s get back on track.

Get some insoles that fit your feet, buy a shoe that fits tightly from side to side (I don’t actually like this ‘tight’ advise, since it’s ruined many a ride for me), and when it doesn’t work out all that well for you, give Victor at Bicyclelab.com a holler.

Victor did a follow-up video regarding the proper length of shoe, in which he clarified the relationship of the front of the toe with the shoe.  The toe should only be ‘brushing’ the toe of the shoe.

Not jammed up against it.

There will be a bit of swelling of the foot during a long ride, making any toe discomfort worse as the miles tick away.

Let’s see, what else?  I have a pair of the Specialized shoes that have the ratcheted cable closure that Victor is demonstrating on the Lake shoes.  I liked them for a long time…and then the ratcheting device failed.

I ordered the replacement ratchets, but even though I have a super-handyman skillset, I gave up on succesfully repairing them a couple of years ago.

I’ll bet that if I were to try on those old shoes, I’d have a terrible time trying to fit into them.  Of course that may acquit me from having to go on a ride that day.

If OJ wasn’t in jail for ‘strong-arming’, I’d give him a call to see if he wanted to play golf.

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The Pedal Stroke- What To Do With Your Feet When Cycling

Posted on July 23, 2011 by Ron Fritzke

Flintstones cycling The Pedal Stroke What To Do With Your Feet When CyclingI came from a frenetic (I just wanted to use that word, regardless of accuracy) running background.  When I decided that the cycling world had gone long enough without my participation, I decided to get a coach and start bike racing.

It was a bit sobering to hear from Cycling Coach Bruce Hendler from that it would take upwards of five years for me to develop a supple (hate that word) pedaling stroke.  And until that happened, riders with smaller engines would be able to outdo me on the bike.

That ticked me off.  After all, I’d be knocking on sixty years old before I was pedaling in circles rather than mashing.  Plus, by that time my ankles will be ankylosed (put that one in your vocabulary pipe for smoking)…no longer capable of doing much more than hosting my socks.

One of my questions has been about the position of the foot during the pedal stroke.  Some people pedal ‘toe down’ and others pedal with their foot level.  Is one preferable to the other?

And the answer is…static foot position is for losers.  There should be sprightly foot movement when you’re spinning those pedals.  And you’re not going to get that with slow, repetitive pedaling.

Despite what you may tell yourself, pedaling can be accomplished by just about any old clod-hopper (of course, I’m referring to inefficient pedaling). To separate your pedaling technique from that of the guy who couldn’t master jumping jacks in PE class, you’ll need to do something extra.

I found this Youtube video touting a training program to add nimbleness to your cycling style.  I don’t know if the program is good, bad, or somewhere in between…but the video gave me something to think about (something other than my favorite subject, myself).

While I can imagine ‘freeball’ running in a stream bed, jumping from rock to rock, it’s hard for me to imagine such quick movements on a bike.  Even Contador’s famous ‘dancing on the pedals’ isn’t very fast in the world outside of cycling.

Sixty year old square dancers can match the tempo of his version of happy feet.  Those dancing the Polka wouldn’t even notice that he was in the room.

So give the video a ‘look-see’, and think about becoming a cycling stud from the knees down…and quit worrying about how you’re filling out those spandex shorts.




Graeme Street’s Cycloclub


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Get Cheap Thrills By Maintaining Your Bike Trainer

Posted on May 26, 2011 by Ron Fritzke

al gore e1306432512401 Get Cheap Thrills By Maintaining Your Bike TrainerI’ve spent an inordinate amount of time over the last few months writing articles about bike trainers. What Al Gore is to global warming…I am to bike trainers. We’ve both benefited handsomely from our laser-like focus on our chosen subjects. Big Al in lucrative speaking engagements; me in….well not so much.

But it’s because of my obsession interest in bike trainers that I was drawn to a youtube video on Kurt Kinetic Road Machine maintenance. This is a video that a balanced human being would typically gloss over…while making their way to a Justin Beiber or Lady Gaga production.

I was immediately intrigued by the ‘Kinetic Trainer Maintenance Tips’ video.

“What could this be about?”

“I have a Kinetic trainer and I don’t know how to maintain it!”

“Is my trainer disappointed in me?”

Battered by self-doubts, I clicked on the ‘play’ arrow and joined the other 951 viewers who’d watched it before me. And boy did I come away from the video feeling good!

Here’s some maintenance that I can do…and do it with excellence. A bit of oil here, a drop or two of oil there, a small square of cardboard in just the right place, and I’ll be good to go.

What I’m trying to say is that…even a guy who struggles removing the whiskers from his Remington shaver can maintain his bike trainer (when you watch the video you’ll curse me for wasting your time see how easy it is).

And when you man-up enough to actually apply a spritz of lubrication to the vulnerable threads of your trainer, you’ll join the ranks of warriors who’ve gone before you.

Those warriors who’ve gutted prey for table-fare, replaced thatch to the roof of their shelter, or relieved themselves into a hole dug behind a rotting log.

You…yes you, Mr. Weak-sauce can feel the primal surge of confidence common to all men who sharpen and maintain their weapons.

Skeptics may claim you’re reveling in cheap thrills, but you and I know otherwise. Start small with bike trainer maintenance, and before long you’ll be using the impact of your words to break lesser men’s jaws.



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How To Wear Cycling Shorts- No Foolin?

Posted on May 4, 2011 by Ron Fritzke

How To Wear Cycling Shorts No Foolin?One of the most ‘searched for’ pages on my site is the How To Wear Cycling Shorts page.  But you folks aren’t fooling me.

I know that people aren’t wondering how to wear cycling shorts…like if they should put the shorts on backward, upside down, or otherwise.

Just say it…’Do you wear underwear under your cycling shorts?’

What you’re really wanting is permission to go stark raving naked under your cycling shorts.

And I’m just the kind of cycling authority to grant such permission.  Yes, you do wear cycling shorts with no undies. And no, you don’t get any demerits for being a pervert when doing so.

At the end of this post you’ll find a video by another authority, Stephen Taylor, who’s gone so far as to speak for upwards of two minutes on the subject. 

While it may appear Stephen’s a bold pioneer, don’t miss the fact that he’s chosen to hide behind those dark sunglasses. The truth is that he’s fearful of hateful cycleshortaphobia (more on that later).

While he speaks of lathering himself up with a lubricant, in what he calls the ‘nether regions’, the video is sadly lacking in meaningful demonstration.

On my How To Wear Cycling Shorts page, I address the issue of aerodynamics in bike shorts, the function of the ‘man diaper’ in cycling shorts, the advantages of bib shorts…and even get so bold as to acknowledge the existence of the seedy cycleshortaphobe world.

While the phobia of wearing cycling shorts hasn’t been officially listed in the anals (sic) of mental disorders, it’s about time this problem entered into the public consciousness.

Frankly, I’m tired of hateful stares just because I’m celebrating the wearing of bike shorts. 

And I’m bold enough to parade through the aisles of Walmart in my cycling shorts (complete with ‘man diaper’ inserts) without hiding behind sunglasses. 
How To Wear Cycling Shorts No Foolin?
In fact I’ve been known to bend over at just the right moment to inspect some of Walmart’s Everyday Low Prices on the bottom-most shelf…flashing the ‘My Name Is Ron’ sticker that’s plastered to the backside of my Pearl Izumi bibshorts.



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Zen And The Art Of Rear Derailleur Adjusting

Posted on April 29, 2011 by Ron Fritzke

rear derailleur Zen And The Art Of Rear Derailleur AdjustingToday John, from Performance Bike, teaches us the skill set needed to adjust a rear derailleur. But never wanting to skimp when it comes to my readers, I’ve personally requested that he provide ‘something extra’.

And what he’s done is prefaced his rear derailleur performance with some spiritual counseling. His spiritual admonition is curt, efficient, and perhaps a bit ‘hurried’, but serves as nectar to our harried souls.

Not to steal his thunder or anything, but here it is…‘Take a deep breath, relax…’.

Zen-like.

If I had the power to do so, I’d have you stop for a few moments to let that sink in. But I don’t…so I know you’ll hurry on to the video….which isn’t necessarily a bad thing either.

Because you’ll find that John wears many hats. Putting on his psychologist’s beanie he tells us halfway through the video to ‘stand up and pat yourself on the back’. You may think I’m a bit lame for pointing out this affirmation, but it sure beats an online  ‘scolding’ for not doing it correctly.

By the way, you’re doing an excellent job of reading this blog entry!

All sarcastic kidding aside…this is a no nonsense presentation of rear derailleur adjusting.  I’ve had times when I couldn’t remember the  ‘order of events’ in the whole rear derailleur adjusting procedure, but this video takes much of the mystique out of the job at hand.

Give it a ‘look-see’!



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Kurt Kinetic Rock and Roll bike trainer review

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Removing Your Back Wheel Without A Pipe Wrench

Posted on April 21, 2011 by Ron Fritzke

Well, of course I know you don’t use a pipe wrench to remove your rear wheel.

What do you think I am…a chiropractor without mechanical skills?

How about a mechanic without chiropractic skills?

Sadly, I’m a chiropractor with mechanical skills…thus I’m more impoverished than either a chiropractor with good sales skills or a mechanic who knows how to give good back rubs.

Enough of the sniveling, let’s party with a little bit of  ‘loosening your rear-end’ instruction by Kevin Livingston, former pro cyclist and founder of Pedal Hard Training.

He rode six times in the Tour de France, for Pete’s sake…so sit up straight and pay attention.

Did you see anything missing?

How about a ‘real’ bike chain…not the surgically-clean beauty in the video? My chain is usually so toxic that the little part about disengaging the cassette from the chain usually doesn’t go so smoothly.

Maybe it’s because I’m leaning back as far away from the greasy beast as I can, thus compromising my manual dexterity.
greasy bike chain e1303412552717 Removing Your Back Wheel Without A Pipe Wrench

In case you think you can grab onto the greasy chain with your black cycling gloves…good luck trying to get boogers out during the rest of your ride without leaving ‘chain grease evidence’.
grease on nose e1303413369502 Removing Your Back Wheel Without A Pipe Wrench
I’ve been riding with skewers since the 1980′s and up until now have oscillated on the issue of the position of the skewer handle. Much of the time I had the skewer facing backward.

I figured that at the blinding speeds I’m attaining on my road bike, I didn’t want the wind resistance from my rear skewer holding me back.

And as for the idea of a rider coming from behind and bumping the skewer handle loose…forgetaboutit!

No one’s fast enough to ever catch up to me in my virtual cycling world and in the real cycling world my casual approach to personal hygiene precludes most cyclists from drafting closely enough to get anywhere near my rear skewer.

stink Removing Your Back Wheel Without A Pipe Wrench

So don’t be an idiot…a pipe wrench has serious ‘limited use’ issues around your bike…unless it’s your weapon of choice against chasing farm dogs.

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